As I Lay Here
by FireLionHeart
Summary: Natasha and Clint are heading back to their hotel after a mission. Things don't go as they planned.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have decided to look at my stories and fix some of the mistakes that I've noticed and maybe change a few things here and there but nothing major. **

**Nope, I still don't own the Avengers or anything related.**

**So, this idea just popped in my head and I couldn't help myself. I regret nothing lol.**

**As I Lay Here**

It's funny the things that you notice when you've got the time to just stop and observe. Like now for instance, I can see that the trees are just starting to change colors. The night air is starting to cool faster and I realize now that for the last few days there's been a cool breeze. It was my favorite time of the year. The time were it just seemed to stand still between spring and fall. I loved how it was warm but also had the coolness in the wind. Natasha would be sad to see her favorite season pass. Though she wouldn't admit it to just anyone she loved springtime. She loved the flowers and seeing the fullness of the trees.

I had plans to take her out. The first thing I was going to do when we got back to base was ask her if she wanted to go to dinner with me. It was our ten year anniversary. I made a different call and brought her back with me ten years ago today. It was fitting then that we'd find ourselves in the same place as we met. I've gotta say that I should have taken Natasha more seriously when she said she didn't feel right coming back to this place. Really we should have marked Budapest as a no go zone long ago. She had said once that if there was any place she felt she was going to die it would be here. I really should have listened.

The Intel wasn't bad. Actually it was pretty much spot on. That probably should have been the first sign that things were about to go to hell. The mission went off without a hitch. It was an easy one and we got lazy. We stopped looking for a threat and, as any good agent will tell you, that's when the threat inevitably will find you.

I hadn't heard from Marcus Flanders in over thirteen years. He was someone who, well let me just come out and say it, I screwed him over. He hired my skills to kill his brother. The story was that his brother had killed his son. It was your average revenge kill scenario. However I found out the real story. Flanders' ran a business. It was a very dangerous drug business that his son was trying to break into. His son Sean was trying to become his father's right hand man but needed to prove his loyalty first. The kid had found the way he was going to do it.

You see, Flanders' brother Adam had been offered the same position the kid was after. Adam agreed but when he found out that his longtime girlfriend had gotten pregnant he decided to change his mind. He left the drug game altogether, married the girl, and got a job as a mechanic or something like that. The details escape me some. Anyways, Marcus didn't take his brother's decision very well. He said that his brother was a traitor and cut him out of his life which was fine with Adam.

Going back to the son, he decided that he would prove his loyalty by killing Adam's wife and with her the unborn baby she was carrying. When he actually went to try it Adam was waiting and after giving the kid a warning he had made his choice to save his family. It's what anyone would have done. I found this out and instead of killing Adam I helped him. I gave him the money his brother paid me with, along with some extra, and my old apartment. No one knew where it was, I was careful about that, and it was a couple of states away from his brother. It was time for me to move on anyways. I check in on them from time to time. Adam had a great kid, all A's every year in school. He wants to be a doctor.

Like I was saying earlier, I haven't heard anything from Marcus himself in over thirteen years. I didn't even know that he had a presence here in Budapest. I should have been more alert but I was teasing Natasha about how the mark had been trying to hit on her, so stupid. I had let her drive on the way back to the hotel we were staying at. It was the usual that I would drive there and she would drive back. We were laughing and I was just about to bring up the fact that Coulson would be furious if we missed our check in. I had pulled out my cell phone and was about to speed dial him when it happened. I can still picture it when I close my eyes.

Natasha was smiling. Her eyes flashed over and met mine for a few seconds before turning back to the road. I pulled out my cellphone about the same time that her entire mood shifted and her body tensed. She called out my name just as I realized what was about to happen. The car hit us from behind at a high speed and as I shouted her name we went over an embankment. I remember reaching out for her as the car rolled. I remember flying out and thinking that I was going to die right then and there. Then I began to roll down, hitting a tree, and getting scrapped up on rocks and debris from the car. When I came to a stop I felt the blood on my shirt but the sight before me had my attention more. Three men got out of the car above us. One was Marcus Flanders himself. I could see him as he pulled out his gun. I blacked out before any shooting was done.

I think I must have hit my head. As I reach up and touch a spot on my forehead the pain is horrible so that must be the case. I can see the car a few feet away. We've both landed on a flat piece of land below the large hill we had rolled down. It has come to a stop upside down and so far I haven't heard anything from Natasha. I can't sit here any longer so I try to move but the pain is so bad. It hurts everywhere and there's blood. I think either Marcus himself or one of the men with him has gotten a shot off at me but I'll be ok. Right now my priority is Natasha and I have to get to that car.

It's obvious that standing up is out. I realize that I must have one hell of a concussion judging by the pain in my head and the fact that everything swirls as I move. It sucks but like I said I have to get to the car. I crawl as fast as I can possibly move right now. The need to know if she's ok is pushing me further and further along until finally I can see her. There's a very small part of me that wishes I hadn't.

She's covered in blood as well and from what I can see she's pinned in the car by her by the fact that the car is pretty much crumbled up around her. The next time we go out on a mission I'm going to demand that we get a vehicle that can withstand more damage. If there's a next time. The thought creeps into my head like an unwanted visitor and I am quick to push it away. I can't think that this will be it. She has to be ok.

I try and take a closer look but the effort to keep myself up is working against me and I fall to the ground. From this angle I can see her face. A few pieces of her fiery red hair has fallen from the braid that she had it in and falls in her face. There's a scratch on her forehead next to her hairline and one that's about two inches long going across her right cheek. Both are bleeding but that's ok. She's still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.

I wish that it wasn't so late at night and dark out, that the moon was shining more, or something so that I can see her more clearly. I think that I can see her breathing but I'm not sure it might just be wishful thinking. I keep my eyes trained on her face and wish that she would open her eyes or show any sign that she's still with me. We have to get out of here. I know this but for the moment it seems that Marcus and his men have moved on. Besides I can barely move let alone help Natasha get out of the car. We are stuck and I know it all too well.

I don't know how long it takes, my internal clock says about ten minutes, but I'm sure that I'm concussed so I don't think that it's very reliable. Anyways, I can see that Natasha is starting to come around and I am so relieved.

"Tasha," my throat is scratchy and I try to swallow a few times, it doesn't really help.

"Clint," her voice is low and I can hear the pain in it but she's alive and that's all I was hoping for. "Where…Clint?"

"I'm here Nat." I say and move as close as I can. Now I'm a few inches away from the window but it's still too dark out to make out much. I can see her face still as she opens her eyes and looks around a bit unfocused. She has a concussion too. I can see it and I can see the moment she decides this for herself as well. I wish I could get her out of the car but I feel myself being too weak to do anything. It's not a feeling that I particularly enjoy as you can imagine. "Natasha," I gently call out to her and it does its job of helping her to focus. Her eyes meet mine and I want to reach in and wipe away the pain I see in them. I know this is bad. This is very bad and all I can think is that I can't lose her. "Speak to me Nat," I manage to say "are you ok?"

"Where…where were you going to take me?" She asks and I know that she's avoiding the conversation. I know that she can see that I'm hurt. There isn't much more light out here but there's more out here than there is on the inside of the car. She can see my injuries better than I can see hers.

"What do you mean?" I ask playing along because I don't really want to have the conversation either. I realize now that my leg must be broken and it's not the best news because I'm sure that my opposite wrist is also useless right now and I'm still bleeding. Like I said though, I'll be fine.

"You always try and drag me out somewhere on our "I didn't kill you anniversary"." I chuckle a little because it's just so Natasha of her to say it like that. I smile at that even though it's followed up with a small gasp of pain. I'm sure that she has some broken ribs. I remember that she wasn't wearing a seatbelt when the car was hit. She had to have been thrown around in there like a ragdoll. I push that thought out of my head as well.

"That Italian place you like," I reply quietly. We would order some food and take it to the back outside seating area where they had a canopy of roses built over it. Natasha liked it even if she claimed it was corny.

"That sounds good." Her words are slurred and it worries me. I see her eyes are drooping.

"Stay awake Nat."

"'m tired," she says quietly and I know she is. I can feel it too but she has to stay awake, for me. I need her to stay awake.

"You can't sleep yet Nat you know that. You have to hold on for a little longer." I have no idea how much longer that's going to be but I'm not going to say that for obvious reasons. I'm sure that she knows that anyways. "Stay with me Tasha."

"Clint,"

"Yes Nat,"

"Why didn't you kill me?" I know what she's asking and over the years I've always joked about it one way or another. I've never told her the truth.

"Because you wanted me to." It all boiled down to that. She was the first target I had gotten that when I looked into their eyes I could see them asking for it. She had known that she had done wrong. She wanted me to give the people that she had hurt justice. I put the bow down and made her start working on doing it herself. She paid those people back by helping others. She paid them back by getting rid of the bad people who had made her hurt them and then she continued by trying to prevent more bad people from doing more bad things.

"Oh," she says and I can see her trying to smile at me. "Good reason."

"Yeah."

"Clint."

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you didn't." It was my turn to smile back at her. She's never quite come out and said that but it was there this whole time.

"Me too." I know what she's doing. This conversation sounds too much like a goodbye and I want it to stop but I can't seem to make it.

"I'm going to ask you to marry me." I say after a few moments for silence. I can tell that she's shocked by the way her blue eyes widen. "I going to ask at the restaurant, after dessert of course."

"Of course," she says now that she's snapped out of the shock. "I'll say yes." It's my turn to be shocked.

"Really?"

"Really." She confirms. "I love you Clint."

"I'll keep that in mind then. Maybe I'll take you somewhere fancier."

"I'll look forward to it." There's a wince after she speaks and I wonder if we'll actually get there. I've been carrying this ring around in my pocket for almost a week now. I've been wondering how it would be to be able to look at Natasha and call her my fiancé. Then later my wife.

"We'll get married in the spring." I cough and don't like the taste in my mouth.

"There's no better time," she agrees.

"At that secret lake that's not on the map. You know the one?"

"We found it by accident when looking for the arrows you randomly shot into the forest." She adds in and I smile at the memory.

"Yeah that one." I say and I can picture it all in my head. "It will just be me and you, Phil, Fury, Hill, and the Avengers with their girlfriends. It will be a nice and quiet event." I say and watch her face as she imagines it as well. "The guys will be in their tuxes and the girls in dresses."

"Red." Natasha says and I give her the slightest of nods.

"Red dresses." I agree and then go on as the scene plays out in my head. "Phil will be the one to walk you down the aisle. You'll be in the beautiful white gown with your hair all done up and I'll try not to pass out with the overwhelming thought that you are finally becoming my wife. Then you'll be standing there and you'll be blushing."

"I don't blush." She adds in and I give her another smile as best as I can.

"Oh you'll be blushing." I tease her "Fury will marry us and of course I'll make myself look like an idiot with how eager I am to kiss you." I say and see the slightest of smiles ghost her lips.

"Of course." She whispers and I want to remind her to keep her eyes on me but I feel mine drooping as well.

"I'm sorry Nat." I say softly and her head shakes slightly.

"I should have been watching too." She says and it goes quiet then. I don't know how long it's been but I'm starting to worry. I see that Natasha is fighting to stay awake and I'm trying myself. It's getting harder. We talk about anything that comes to mind. We recount a couple of missions. Budapest is still among the worst. We try to argue about how it went down but neither of us really have the strength to keep it up. Time passes and I start to realize that it's probably not going to have the happy ending that I was imagining.

I don't know how long I lay there but eventually I hear the sound that I've been waiting for. It's pitch black but I soon realize that my eyes are closed and I force them open. I need to see Natasha. Her eyes are open and I can see that she hears it too, the sounds of jets getting closer. I look into her beautiful eyes. I scan my eyes over her face trying to take in every detail. I can't fight it anymore.

"I love you Natasha Romanoff." I say and I see the tears forming in her eyes. I wish I could reach over and wipe them away. I wish that I could hold her and tell her that everything will be ok. I want to hug her and kiss her. I realize this isn't going to happen, I find that I can't move, but I wish that I could.

"I love you Clint Barton," she says through the tears that are falling. Her voice hitches and it hurts me that she's hurting so bad.

I can hear Coulson's voice now and that is all I need to know. Coulson is there and everything is going to be ok. Natasha is going to be fine. I can feel my body relaxing. I hear someone yelling and realize that it's Coulson. He's yelling at the medics to hurry and do their jobs. I couldn't agree with him more. Natasha needs help, they need to get her out of the car and help her.

I feel my eyes slip closed and I think that I can feel someone's hands pressing on my chest. I don't pay much attention to that though. I can't really feel anything anymore and I really want to just open my eyes and see Nat again but it proves harder than it seems it should be. The last thing I hear is her voice. She yelling out for me and I wish that I could say something back but my voice seems to have failed me. It's ok though because I told her that I loved her and that's more than a lot of people get. She's going to be ok. I know this. I'm ready now.


	2. AN

**Author's Note: **

**Ok, so I've moved the rating up on this story to K+ after a recommendation from one of the reviews, I hope that this is better and that no one was bothered by the content. I've never been good with rating things so I hope this one is a better fit. Anyways, as far as an alternate ending goes, is there anyone else who would like to see one? I might work something out. Right now I'm floating around ideas for Trust In Me because I can't quite figure out what I want to do from where I'm currently at in the story.**

**Also, is there any interest in a story between Natasha, Steve, and the winter soldier as in an aftermath of Cap2? There probably wouldn't be any pairings besides a past relationship between Winter Soldier and Nat. Just an idea that I'm toying with but not sure if I want to take on.**

**I guess that's it for now. I hope that you are all having a great day! Thanks for your support!**


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